Honey I'm home!
by Exceptance is the key
Summary: This is a song fic I wrote after I was sick. It may not be that good. Any way I was looking through song books and this one hit me as a good one.


Honey, I'm home by Shania Twain Valerie Doney Normal Valerie Doney 3 183 2001-10-22T01:30:00Z 2001-10-22T23:38:00Z 3 1455 8296 69 16 10188 9.3821 

Honey, I'm home by Shania Twain

_The car wouldn't start_

It's falling apart 

_I was late for work and the boss got smart_

_My panty line shows_

_Got a run in my hose_

_My hair went flat_

_Man I hate that_

Lina Inverse was having the worst day of her life!  She had woken up late and her car would just not start.  After releasing it was absolutely useless to sit in it and swear.  She got out of the car and went back inside the house.  She sighed and called a cab to take her to work.  The cabbie had dropped her off at the edge of the parking lot and it was a really windy day.  She silently cursed the cab driver.  'Damn cabbie might as well as not have come at all.'  As she walked what was almost four blocks the wind picked up.  By the time she got into the building her hair was a mess.  "Hey Lina," one of her annoying co. workers shouted to her.  "You look like hell.  What happed?" 

 "Go away Fred, I don't need your crap today!"  She growled back at him.  He stared at her for a moment and quickly walled away. 

She had worn her best business outfit a black skirt and blazer with a blouse the color of red wine for a board meeting.  She looked at her watch and saw it was 9:45.  'Damn these early rising board members.'  She thought as she released she was 15 minuets late for the meeting.  As she walked quickly into the board room and shut the door.  As she walked her nylons had snagged on a chair as she walked by.  She looked down as she heard the slight ripping sound and saw the tare.  "Oh hell!"  She swore to herself.  Lina walked down and took her place ready to her presentation.  She glanced around the room and saw no one.  The chairs were empty.  Lina know the meeting wasn't over because there weren't any doughnut crumbs or coffee stains on the table.  Her boss Mr. Metallium came from behind and tapped her neck.  Startled she jumped a foot of the ground.  

"Late again, eh Lina?"  He asked her.  As he helped her up.  He held her hand longer then necessary.  "Your just lucky there was no board meeting today."  He smiled at her.

"What?"  She screamed as she snatched her hand out of his grasp.  "What do you mean 'No board meeting?'"  She asked him.

He just smiled, "Lina your late a lot.  I'm going to have to deny you a raise again."  He waited for her to say something but she only scowled at him.  "Or you could go out on a date with me."

"I told you Mr. Metallium I don't date the bosses.  It's bad for my career."  She walked quickly away from him and out of the board room.  This was the tenth time in the ten months he had hit on her since she had been transferred to work under him.  She hated her job.

_(Hate that)_

_just when I thought things couldn't get worse_

_I realized I forgot my purse_

_With all this  stress_

_I must confess_

_This could be worse ten PMS_

Her day had just gotten worse from there.  Mr. Metallium had a tactic that had always worked before: "if some one refuses you, just make their life hell by doubling their work load until they give in."  He had been doing this after every refusal.  She sighed as another pile of paper work dropped on her desk.  She looked at the never ending stack of papers on her desk and got to work.  She had only gotten through half the stack of papers when her two best friends Amelia and Filia showed up.

"Hey Lina ready for lunch?"  Filia asked her.  And Amelia tried to see her over the high stacks of files and papers on her desk.

"Boy am I ever."  Lina stood and stretched.  She grabbed her jacket off her chair and just as she was putting it on she realized something was wrong.  "Oh no, I forgot my purse at home."  Lina moaned.  

"Don't worry Lina you always put money in you pockets just in case."  Amelia said remembering the last time something like this had happened.

Lina searched her pockets and came up with a five dollar bill.  "Your right Amelia but I had to take a cab to work.  So I only have enough to eat in the employee cafeteria.

"That's okay Lina we'll eat with you there."  The walked down to the cafeteria and got their food.  Then sat down in the hard plastic chairs.  After they had started to eat Filia started a conversation.  "So what's with the paper mountain on your desk?"  

"Well it happened again.  The same thing that happed last month and the month before that."  Lina answered her.  There was no need to say what 'it' was both her friends knew by now.  They looked at her sympathetically as she finished talking.  "He does this every month.  This time he put a board meeting on my schedule that wasn't there.  And every time I refuse him.  Man you'd think he'd give up by now!"  She sighed and continued.  "It's getting so bad."  She looked straight into her friends eyes.  "Today right after he hit on me I considered just for a second to end all this torment and just say yes to the 'fruity bastard'."  

"Lina you can't give in to him!"  Amelia cried as both she and Filia stared at their friend abashedly.

"I know Amelia, I know.  Besides I just couldn't cheat on my him."  Lina shook her head at the thought of cheating on her boyfriend.  She looked at the clock and saw it was time to go back to work.

_This job ain't worth the pay_

_Can't wait 'til the end of the day_

_Honey I'm on my way_

_Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!_

At last she had finished the blasted paper work. She sighed 'This job can not by worth the pay.  A million dollars wouldn't be enough to have to put up with my boss every day!'  And was about to pack up her things and leave when she saw her boss.  Mr. Metallium was walking towards her.  'Shit!  If I just hurry and walk out before he gets here it will all be fine.'  She thought to herself.  She raced to put on her coat and rush out the door.  But he cut her off by blocking her doorway.  "So Lina have a lot of work today?"  He smiled at her.

            "You would know you gave it to me!"  She tried to push past him but he wouldn't move.  "Mr. Metallium please move out of my way."  

"Why so formal Lina?  It's after work hours so just call me Xellos."  He just kept smiling at her.  "I heard you need a ride home today.  I could drop you off."  He offered her.

"Thanks Mr. Metallium-"

"Xellos."  He reminded her.

"Thanks Xellos but no thank you."  She finally managed to push past him.

"But Lina dear how will you get home?"  He inquired sweetly.

"I'll take a bus."  She walked out the door and called back to him.  "Good day Mr. Metallium."

_Honey I'm home and I had a hard day_

_pour me a cold one and oh, be the way_

_rub my feet, gimme something to eat_

_fix me up my favorite treat_

_honey I'm back, my head's killing me_

_I need to relax and watch TV_

_Get off the phone_

_Give the dog a bone_

_Hey! Hey! Honey I'm home_

She was tired and had used the last of her money for bus fare.  But at least she was home.  She noticed her car was gone probably a mechanic came to pick it up  She dragged herself up the steps to the door.  She opened the door and walked inside her house and hung out her jacket.  Having done that she went off the her room to change.  "Honey, I'm home."  She called out and added.  "Finally."  Under her breath.  She got in her room and took off her blazer.  And looked around the room her head was killing her.

_I broke a nail opening the mail_

_I cursed out loud 'cause it hurt like hell_

_This job's a pain_

_It's so mundane_

_It sure don't stimulate my brain _

_This job ain't worth the pay_

_Can't wait  'til the end of the day_

_Honey I'm on my way_

_Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!_

She saw the mail on her dresser.  She picked it up and searched through it.  She saw a letter from her sister and opened it.  "Oww, damn it!"  She screamed as one of her nails broke with the envelope seal.  She put the mail down on the dresser and removed her nylons she saw the tare and throw them on the floor.  She sat on her bed put her head in her hands and cried.  She thought of her horrible job and her even worse boss.  She thought about her car, her hair and her nylons and she thought of her nail.  She shifted going from a sitting position to lying down curled up with a pillow under her head.  She didn't stop crying.__

_Honey I'm home and I had a hard day_

_pour me a cold one and oh, be the way_

_rub my feet, gimme something to eat_

_fix me up my favorite treat_

_honey I'm back, my head's killing me_

_I need to relax and watch TV_

_Get off the phone_

_Give the dog a bone_

_Hey! Hey! Honey I'm home_

"Lina?"  A man's voice called out as someone knocked softly on the door.  Lina didn't get up she just kept crying.  The man walked over to her and sat on the bed.  He rubbed her back and said.  "It's okay Lina.  Your home now.  It's all right now."  He moved the hair covering her face.

            Lina looked up at him her eyes red from crying then turned her face back down.  "No it's not okay."  She said into the pillow.  "Where were you when I got home?"  

            He didn't stop stroking her back as he replied.  "I saw your car in the drive way when I got home.  It wouldn't start so I towed it to your garage and I was just out working on it." 

_oh, rub my neck will you_

Lina sat up and turned her back to him.  And he started to rub her neck.  "That was really thoughtful of you Gourry."  Lina sighed as a knot of tension was released.  Soon she was more relaxed and felt much better.

_Honey I'm home and I had a hard day_

_pour me a cold one and oh, be the way_

_rub my feet, gimme something to eat_

_fix me up my favorite treat_

_honey I'm back, my head's killing me_

_I need to relax and watch TV_

_Get off the phone_

_Give the dog a bone_

_Hey! Hey! Honey I'm home_

"Come on Lina."  Gourry said as he pulled her up off the bed.  "I ordered a pizza a while ago and it should be here soon."  He dragged Lina into the living room.  "And your favorite movie is on in about 20 minutes."  Lina sat on the couch and made herself comfortable.  When the door bell rang Gourry answered it and paid.  He came back two minutes with two boxes of steaming hot pizza, plates and cans of coke.  He handed Lina a plate of pizza and sat down beside her.  "Now tell me how do you feel?"  he asked her.  

_I'm home, that feels much better_

            "I'm home.  And I feel so much better now."  Lina said before she kissed him. 


End file.
